While we’re on the subject of good American detective series, it is maybe a good time to revisit our old friend Columbo. Last time we saw him, he was investigating the death of an old chess champion. This time, a highly regarded scientist in some research institute1 has been ran over. It’s not the season to suspect a reindeer, so Columbo asks around. Amongst many others, he also talks with a prodigy who has made a robot. A robot that plays chess.
Last time, the position was very realistic. This time, well, less so. My first complaint is that they are not using the beautiful and convenient standard Staunton pieces, but rather some malformed slenderman figures that were probably thought of as futuristic in the seventies.
My second complaint is that this is a scene of absolute horror.2
This looks like someone just threw some pieces on the board randomly. In such unfamiliar positions, it’s often hard to know what to play, but here g8Q+ seems like a good first candidate. The robot, however, decides differently. It decides to play Qe4. The robot is really incredible; I’d have never thought of that move.3
Our wunderkind replies with Qxg1 and claims checkmate. That’s a little too hasty, since the e2 square is still free, but it will at least be checkmate soon. Or it would have been had the robot been a bit more sportsmanlike and hadn’t thrown the board in the kid’s face. Luckily, the kid not only takes the pieces but also the act of throwing them on the chin. In fact, he seems to revel in it. He seems to prefer mayhem over mind after all.
Realism: 1/5 A robot like this, that can walk and operate machinery, and understand commands is now more plausible than ever, but still nobody will believe this position.
Probable winner: Black, obviously. Even if it isn’t actually checkmate now, it will be very soon.
1. [It’s called a think tank in the series, but that’s not suite the correct term; there seem to be people doing actual worthwhile things there.] ↩
2. [This diagram editor has only very relative horror.] ↩
2. [Which is good, because I’d never be able to sleep again.] ↩